Doula (/ˈduːlə/): companion, attendant, care
Death care is at the core of all of my practice and way of life. Growth lies in the creative, detailed ways we learn to respond to one another and ourselves. We are aging bodies born into or stepping into worlds of disability. Disability justice and intimacy are essential to living a collectively affirming and dignified life together.
My role is about accompaniment through the transitions, loss, endings and completions of all forms; attachment figures or stories, skills, identities, places and seasons. Death arrives ever so slowly or spontaneously, in rest or crises, by nature and/or societal will. The relationship to our dying is an intimate one, vulnerable and commonly unwanted, that requires much time, sacred attention. A dignified-dying depends on our dedication to live, live well.
Getting to know our relationship to dying can be daunting. Contemplating on death is not allowed and unattended to, or institutionalized. Death, our teacher of the abyss and the unknown, can teach us to unplug from generationally normalized stigmas, fears, unresolved wounds, the “unfinished business” around beliefs or promises, cycles of our nature, unconscious biases and limitations that hold us from opening doors to wider truths and possibilities. By facing our own death-denial, we learn “what gets in the way of a good life, which in turn gets in the way of a good death.”
As a death doula, I want to care for and pace with ourselves, as we learn how to deeply relate with our dying and growing body and bodies around us. From the dying, I continue to witness the legacy of healing, clarity and teachings death gifts us with. We have much to learn, and live out.
Certified with Elizabeth Kübler-Ross Foundation of Mexico, INELDA
We are all dying as much as we are living. End of life care (EOL) can begin at any time. It can look like:
Process unresolved issues
Facilitating life review process
Decluttering emotionally/physically
Creating remembrances
Symbolic meaning-making and story telling
Grief care for planting new seeds
Dreamwork